Serve Your Country
by TheCarnivorousButterfly
Summary: Being British, Allen Walker always loved his Mother and country, Mother England... A.k.a. Arthur Kirkland... LEMON PORN HAPPY KINKY YAOI PWP! This story is basically one cracked up, brain-cell-killing, weird as anything, yaoiful-sexilicious crossover.


I've been meaning to make a fan-fiction for like two years for my friend Vicki (CaptiveNightingale)… So I did :D. SO THIS GOES OUT TO HER 3!*Shot multiple times in face*

(For actual hardcore yaoi that's well written, go look at her stuff :].) .net/u/1894367/

"_This is the best fanfic ever. 'Nuff said." -Me_

**Weather:** Sunny with no chance of meatballs. **Mood:** More than modestly pleasant. **Setting:** Someone's worst nightmare…

Allen Walker was walking down a bright, sunshiny path filled with candy canes and rainbows and

puppies and objects consisting of the most fluffiest fibers, where the grimmest thing visible were merely adorable, newly hatched spiderlings feasting on the flesh and blood of a unicorn who had recently died of AIDS and several other sexually transmitted diseases. It was as if all was right with nature. Allen had a rather good feeling about today. He felt quite groovy and a fuzzy-wuzzy feeling of tinglyness tickled his veins. He just knew something wonderful was bound to happen; he just KNEW it. Standing for a moment to take in the sweetness of his setting, he felt the magic blow through the wind, this wind of magic then blew through his hair, which was clean due to the L'Oréal he had used earlier when he awoke from his slumber, because he was oh so definitely worth it.

As he skipped merrily up a steep hill, he whistled an invigoratingly happy tune, soon to be joined by the uplifting melody of a thousand songbirds, each one shining all the colors of the rainbow with hearts as big as a humpback whale. Figuratively of course, seeing as if a bird had a heart the size of a large mammal, they would look quite grotesque, but these birds were pretty and didn't have monumental tumor-like lumps exploding from their chest.

After Allen partook in several seconds of skipping, he reached the tippity-top of the hill. It had flattened out to a plateau, allowing him to see the fluffy rainbow sky and chocolate-chip clouds for miles and miles and miles and miles. The sparkling sun poked its head through them, casting glitteryness onto the cotton candy puddles.

But this breathtaking scenery was not nearly as beautiful as the figure he noticed, casting a dark, sleek silhouette against the piercing light. The figure was no other than Allen's mother: Mother England, who was in fact a man rather than a woman. Allen's heart fluttered in excitement. Oh he loved his mother! He ran over to Arthur Kirkland, embracing him, nearly tackling him to the ground with an uber-mega-super-kawaii-glomp-attack-desu.

"Mother!" he cried.

"How is my favorite son doing today?" Arthur asked in an accent most British.

"I'm fine, Mother! I'm so happy you brought me into this world! I simply cannot believe that it has been eighteen years on this very day!" Allen noticed a faint blush appear in England's cheeks, only catching a glimpse of this as he had turned his head to avoid looking at the young boy. For a few seconds, there was silence. Gophers were building tunnels in the distance.

"… Is everything alright, Mother?" Allen inquired, worried he had said something wrong. A tad more silence. A meteor destroyed the gopher's tunnels. The gophers survived, became quite angsty, but developed gopher superpowers. Neither of the males seemed to notice.

"As a country, I have created and given birth to many things, Allen." England finally replied. "Flowers, teas, intellectuals, scones, many Shakespearean plays that are the rue of many high-school students… So many things have I created to share with the world…"

"I know Mother! You are so caring!" Allen said with a smiling smile. Arthur turned away.

"I created you for a completely different reason." More silence. The gophers sunk Atlantis. Arthur spun around. "I created you for you to be mine, to love you!" Allen's whole body jolted; a warm feeling oozed through him.

"W-well of course Mother." Allen stuttered. "I am yours. I am your son. And you love all of your creations." _Could this be what I think it is…?_ Allen pondered. Arthur's face transitioned a bright shade of red with a tint of pink, yet he still continued to concentrate his deep gaze into the eyes of the teen with the albino-lama colored hair.

"It's… something different than that, Allen…" The young boy had never seen this type of look in his mother's eyes before, not to this intensity. He had caught it sometimes, but only in a slight manner. He had seen it before at the dinner table, when Mother kept petting his feet, or during cold winter nights Mother had insisted they spoon naked together so his son wouldn't catch a chill. Allen's heart fluttered like a seizure-filled butterfly. "You see Allen…" Arthur began, "There was a time… where I was incredibly hurt. You remember America, Mr. Jones, don't you? And Mr. France?"

"My uncles? Of course."

"They're not exactly your uncles by blood. They were my lovers who I had once loved. But they betrayed me, Allen. Especially that bloody America… My sad little British heart was so broken… How could I ever trust another soul ever again? Those foreigners left me. So I created my own, special British citizen. You, Allen. I created and raised you to serve this purpose. This is your destiny Allen, now that you are no longer a minor."

Allen's heart was beating faster than a speeding bullet. "So you only gave birth to me to use me." England stared into the distance approximately 572 feet 7 inches. A rugged man with defined eyebrows was walking his zombie pet gorilla named Chompsy there.

"Yes…" England declared almost inaudibly while awkwardly rubbing his fingers against a scone in his pocket. Allen stood there shocked, as if he put his hand in water with a toaster that was plugged in because it was toasting bread. British bread, making the feeling all the more intense. However, Allen wasn't shocked by his mother's words being cruel, but by the fact that he wasn't upset with the utterances of Arthur. He was… _happy_, radiant even. Allen gulped. England once again turned to face the handsome young teen. "I'm sorry Allen. This is your duty. I can't be betrayed again. I simply won't allow it!" England shook in anger, a sadness spewing from his eyes. He grabbed Allen by the shoulder, whipping him towards his own body, forcing upon him a strong kiss. The polar-bear haired boy's eyes bulged as his heart nearly stopped. After a few seconds, Mr. Arthur pulled away.

"Allen… I'm sorry about this…"Allen looked up with his big, grey, shimmering shoujo eyes that seemed to be a cage for years of suppressed feelings. This moment was the key to opening that cage so Allen could soar on angel's wings!

"It's okay… Mother." Allen spoke in a hushed tone. "I live to make you happy… Continue, please." England's face held in place a surprised look for several seconds, but soon after transformed into a tranquil but lusty smile.

"Okay." He pulled his face closer to Allen's once again, then embracing for a tongue-filled kiss. Allen enjoyed the warmth of his mother's tongue slipping in and out from between his teeth, their saliva becoming one.

_This is happening…_ Allen couldn't believe it. He wasn't dreaming this time. Arthur's warmth, his toned body, his messy hair, his sexilicious eyebrows, his hardening _stick… _All were pressing against him. He could barely control himself thinking about it. Allen never thought he would be given the proper chance to give into his desires, but now _this_. What did it matter? It was _happening_. His mother _wanted_ this. Allen needed to hide no longer. Oh what incestuous delight!

Allen's eyes escaped his world of thoughts, noticing how he was now on the ground, shirt off with Arthur now removing Allen's frilly yellow skirt while sucking on the young teen's tender nipple. Allen reached to remove Arthur's pants, but realized that his mother was in a Tarzan-like outfit. Allen had no idea how he did not notice this earlier. He must have been distracted by Arthur's bloody brilliant green eyes. Now Allen couldn't stop staring at his mother's brilliant and bulging loincloth.

Although Allen couldn't be more delighted by the situation presented to him, "I'm,… scared…" he whimpered.

England looked down on him, showing off a very British and endearing smile. "Too bad, wanker. You're mine now, so shut up n behave or Imma smack you, ai'ight?" England's sweet words came out as honey to Allen's ears. He was comforted to know his mother could still soothe him, even during this dramatic twist in their loving relationship. Allen felt a new wave of warmth surge through him. The gophers were drinking to celebrate their underwater gopher victory while singing drunken gopher songs.

Allen suddenly felt bold, brimming with confidence with these words ringing in his ears like a summer's night of chirping crickets. He reached under England's loincloth and poked his testes. "Oh, oh, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah..." moaned England. Allen smirked at his victory. He then grasped the main part of Arthur's male reproductive organ, which was as diamond-hard as England's sexier-than-sex ten-pack, and stroked it slowly, as if it was his pet cat, or perhaps that per velociraptor he had always wanted. "Oooooo-ah-ah-ah-ooooooooooooooooh…" England groaned. The stuff that was the same color as a poofy-puffy white cloud came out of his mother's sperm hole. Allen was satisfied with his accomplishment, until Mr. Arthur's penis was once again harder than Chuck Norris's ever could be. Allen was bamboozled, until a thought occurred to him_: England was a country_.

He was a country representing approximately 61,838,154 citizens. About half of those were men, making that number 30,919,077. Assuming some were older and some younger, that would bring the number down to approximately, let's just say, 20,000,000 men with healthy and active penises. This meant that Allen would need to satisfy 19,999,999 more erections for England to be completely content. The snowy-snowman haired lad was delighted at the thought of this challenge, for he made a kitty-face smirk like this :3. Allen gave his mother a blowjob by literally blowing air on his not-so-dangly parts. 19,999,998. Allen massaged England's tender area with his feet. 19,999,997.

England was getting tired with how slowly things were going, and he felt bad as Allen got more and more aroused with each of his ejaculations whereas the boy experienced none. It was time to _**do it**_. The gophers cheered. This was because they had finally broken through their celebratory piñata, a.k.a. the ex-pet gorilla Chompsy. It ate the rest of the unicorn and died. They were really drunk.

Arthur vigorously ripped off the rest of Allen's clothing with the power of his bear British nipples. Allen blushed about the idea of being in his birthday suit in the middle of a super happy fluffy magical forest, but dismissed this concern because it was in fact his birthday, which meant that this must be reasonable. England grabbed Allen's shoulders and turned him so he could see the young male's arousing vertebral column. He then pushed his son down so his face was smothered into the ice-cream topped earth. _Kinky._ Allen thought as he gulped in a huge amount of thick, white substance, also known as vanilla ice-cream. It was especially sweet eating it from this position. _Yummy-yum-yum_.

"Are you ready?" the older male asked.

"Yes, Mother." England then seized up his vital regions and used them to penetrate Allen's. He rubbed those regions all over Allen's insides, creating a feeling of ecstasy between the both of them. Allen moaned, and moaned, and moaned, and mooed, and moaned some more as Allen's mother repeatedly pelvic thrusted into him. Arthur couldn't believe how tight and sexy Allen's rectum was. All this was too much for England to handle as he burst out with enough sperm to cover exactly 19,999,996 orgasms. The massive amount of Allen's mother's sperm created a pond, which was rightfully named "Lake Bliss".

Both males relaxed after their Earth-shattering experience and they cuddled under the stars and fireworks. The fireworks actually weren't fireworks however, as they were in fact gorilla limbs and bloody gorilla organs that were attached to bombs being thrown in the air. The gophers would definitely be hung-over tomorrow.

"I love you, Allen." said Arthur.

"I love you too, Mother." blushed Allen. "Plus, I'm just happy to serve my country."

And so mother and child slept peacefully that night.

**Crappy ending because when I was originally writing this I was rushing to finish in time to give it to Vicki during art… Even though it took her days to read it anyway _… Too lazy to make a better ending… Or to make a better anything… I added and edited a bit more, but eeh~. So hope you only lost a few brain cells :].**

***SHOTDEAD***


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